Former SISTAR member Soyou has shared a heartbreaking story about her struggles with panic disorder and the backlash she faced over an attitude controversy.
On December 29th, the SBS special Bodymentary: Confessions About Weight featured Soyou alongside other iconic female stars, where she revealed the emotional and physical toll of dieting and the pressure to succeed after SISTAR's disbandment.
Soyou spoke about how the public perceived her during her career. “People would say, ‘Does she only rely on her body?’ That wasn’t true, but that’s how I was portrayed in articles and interviews. It was frustrating because I wanted to be recognized for my music. When I was preparing my first solo album, I lost a lot of weight because I felt like I needed to prove myself.”
She admitted that the fear of going solo after SISTAR disbanded was overwhelming. “I even thought about retiring. I was terrified, wondering, ‘Can I do this on my own?’ The pressure to reach number one and prove myself became an obsession. I started overthinking everything I did and felt like I was disappearing. It was like holding sand in my hand—everything just slipped away.”
Soyou also recounted an incident during her solo promotions for “Shoulder”. “There was a time backstage when I suddenly couldn’t stop crying. I cried for two hours and didn’t even know why. On stage, I felt like everyone was criticizing me. I couldn’t look at the cameras because I was so terrified. That’s when I was diagnosed with panic disorder. Back then, taking psychiatric medication was something people tried to hide, but I had no choice.”
She addressed the attitude controversy that happened during a SISTAR fan meeting and performance. “Apparently, the MC asked me to smile, but I don’t remember it at all. I was just trying to survive the event without collapsing. But because I didn’t smile, people criticized me for having a bad attitude. The backlash was intense.”
Soyou explained how severe her symptoms were. “There are different stages of panic disorder, but mine were severe. I felt like I was going to vomit everything inside me, like my whole body was curling up. Even with hundreds of people watching, I couldn’t breathe, but I couldn’t afford to make a mistake.”
She also shared how her health suffered during this time. “I barely ate for two months—just water, coffee, and medication. I didn’t weigh myself, but I was definitely under 50 kg. My stylist was worried about how thin I’d become. One day, I truly thought, ‘I might die today.’”
Soyou expressed concern for young people obsessed with extreme dieting. “It breaks my heart to see that. When I was their age, I felt the same pressure. But I always say, if I weren’t a celebrity, I wouldn’t have dieted. It’s a no-win situation—if you don’t lose weight, people criticize you. If you do, they say you’ve lost too much. In the end, it’s your body. You have to enjoy your life and remember that you’re the owner of your own body.”
Soyou’s raw honesty has struck a chord with fans, many of whom are praising her courage in addressing these important issues.
Source: [1]
